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Friday, April 25, 2003  we've had a miscarriage approx 11 weeks into the pregnancy. the hospital found that the baby had died a few weeks ago and that Caroline's body has just caught up.
it's been a traumatic, intense and harrowing 36 hours. loads of our friends have helped by praying, helping practically and by sending messages - thank you all. here is the scan at 5 weeks of the baby. you can see the dark dot in the centre - that's the baby. we're asking God to give us a name to call him/her. if you'd like to see what we've been through stage-by-stage then the story is below (taken from the thing about it which is a community blog for prayer, testimonies, etc.): if you read this please pray - Caroline's bleeding a little - we phoned the GP this morning but they weren't worried. she's just got back and she's bleeding more now so we're them ringing again. we'll this blog posted as this story unfolds. posted by Ant | Thursday, April 24, 2003 | 11:58:29 AM well things haven't changed much but we're booked in for a scan on monday morning so they can really check it out. the good news is that there is no pain - miscarriage is normally accompanied by pain so this is good news, PTL (praise the lord). please keep praying as she is still bleeding. posted by Ant | Thursday, April 24, 2003 | 2:37:50 PM well the good news is that we've managed to move the scan to tomorrow (friday) at 1.40pm so please pray then. i was wondering if there was anyone that could look after ben so caroline and i haven't got the stress of taking him to the hospital? if you can please ring us on 266 3950 - just so you know, it's a difficult time to look after him as he'll wake up and want feeding - we'd get everything ready though. posted by Ant | Thursday, April 24, 2003 | 5:42:16 PM i don't know why anyone (in their right mind anyways) would be up at this hour to read this but you'll see it in the morning. at around 2-3am the bleeding became INTENSE (bed, carpet, etc.) and there were huge blood clots too (we had a scare that one (featus-shaped clot) was the baby but it wasn't). anyway, we went into hospital asap after getting our next door neighbour kath to come and look after ben while we were gone (what an angel) and i've just come back. there has been loads of bleeding but they can't say for sure if caroline is still pregnant until a scan tomorrow. they are keeping her in overnight so i'll be getting up (in approx 2.5 hrs) with ben and then waiting for a call from caroline. please keep praying that the baby's well and if anyone reads this early and fancies coming round and helping me out with ben (because i'll be near-dead-knackered) then that would be cool. posted by Ant | Friday, April 25, 2003 | 4:39:20 AM i'm sorry to say that we've had a miscarriage. not sure exactly when it happened (most likely during the night with all the bleeding) and when Caroline had the scan this morning there was no child there. there are still parts inside her womb and she is currently being induced (with tablets). please pray this is a quick process because we've been waiting for something to happen all afternoon. we really want to thank everyone who have been praying, who've sent us messages and those who've offered help - you've all been amazing. thank you. also please ring us if you were thinking of dropping round - Caroline really wants some space with this. posted by Ant | Friday, April 25, 2003 | 5:10:25 PM we're home now - very very tired emotionally and physically but we're home. we'll be going back to Caroline's parents for some TLC tomorrow (unless there are any other problems) which is what we were doing anyway for a family get-together in honour of Ben's birthday. thanks for everything. Ant Caroline and Ben posted by Ant | Friday, April 25, 2003 | 8:56:49 PM posted by Ant | 8:18 PM | Thursday, April 24, 2003 yesterday's band practise was fantastico! it started out crap because it took over an hour to actually get our sound sorted - a really really painful experience (for those of you who don't know). once that was sorted we prayed (it would have been a good idea to do that earlier coz we would have got things sorted sooner!) and then practised one song, "she's a mystery" really hard - it's now pretty much sorted which is great coz we haven't done that before. then we worked on our new song which is REALLY HEAVY and ANGRY - YEAH! and it was sounding amazing. i'm screaming a lot during it which is new to me but i think i've found out the screamer singer's secret (no, i'm not going to tell you)! then right at the end we played "just good friends" straight off to see if we could actually do that (as you would in a gig) and we did - it sounded really cool and we loved it! it's soooo good to feel like we're really getting there and have really got something special - and for me that's the first time (not to dis my other bands)! posted by Ant | 1:01 PM | Wednesday, April 23, 2003 i'm at the office twiddling my thumbs. i'm waiting for andy mayer to turn up so we can sort out exactly how the new st toms web site will look. he's just finishing the st toms shop which is looking very cool (you can get a sneak preview of the logo that cliff and i have done there). this afternoon is going to be cool. we've got a LOFTER >> practise. the others (ben, abigail and andy) have all said that they are loking forward to getting together but for some reason i feel nervous! i don't know why - in fact things seem good as abigail's agreed to get together every week for the band so on the first we'll be doing the band and on the second we'll be songwriting. this is cool as i don't want LOFTER >> to be my band (like toy bridge kinda was) because i wrote all the songs. i must remember to bring God into things this time (as we seem to forget to pray usually)! i think i need to get into the mind-set of a teenager to do this band really well... LOL OMG(osh)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111 posted by Ant | 10:26 AM | Sunday, April 20, 2003 Caroline and I want to give this entire year back to God - he's been amazing and has seen us through some really hard times. it's been an amazing journey and we wouldn't have it any other way. we feel that we've been constantly living more and more by faith, both financially and relationally as a family and God's not let us down once! Amen - YEAH! posted by Ant | 7:01 PM | we just wanted to say a massive T H A N K Y O U !!! to everyone who came and made Ben's birthday a fantastic time. we feel really loved :) here are some pics from today...
Ben is 1 today! HOORAY! 
posted by Ant |
12:49 PM |
Friday, April 18, 2003 hey people - haven't said hi for a while! well here i am. i've a very happy bunny at the moment as i've not had that much work on and so have had the time to finish a couple of personal projects: 1) fishpie (the album) is finally done and is shipping. i'm selling it via this site and already have sold 7 copies which is very cool. i need to sell 20 to make my money back (and the rest goes to charity) so it's going very well. the cd itself has videos on it if you put it in a pc - this is what's taken so long but now it's done it's fantastic. 2) the toy bridge project - toy bridge is a band i used to be in a few years ago and we had a fair few recordings and a video but they are all on tape (i hate tape!) so i've converted all of it, remastered the music and put the video, a gallery, a discography and press reviews into the enhanced cd! it was a huge job but i wanted a good copy of this stuff and have been remembering all the good (and bad...) times we had. i've sent the guys in the band a copy as a surprise - i hope they love it as i'd love to get that kind of surprise through the post! next up is www.lofter.co.uk and www.pridot.org which i will be developing in the hope of creating online communities for our band LOFTER >> - it's my mission and also i'd love to get paid by it too (we'd sell our music and merchandise (when we've made some!)). i've jotted down some ideas already - all i need to do next is figure out how to make the message boards and content management system work without paying anyone to do them - designing it and building it will be the easy bit!!! well i'll catch you all later - i can't believe i'm inside typing on a beautiful day like this ;) posted by Ant | 11:59 AM | Monday, April 14, 2003 maaaan i feel so down and angry for no reason. maybe post-flu depression. posted by Ant | 11:12 AM | Thursday, April 10, 2003 
hey y'all - everyone's invited to Ben's very first birthday party which happens to be on EASTER DAY!!! details above... posted by Ant | 9:05 PM | check this movie out! it's probably the funniest political joke i've ever seen and that's saying something! download it by clicking here (you'll need to right click on the link and select 'save target as...' enjoy :-) posted by Ant | 5:53 PM | i got it... i got it... heheheheheheheheheheheh *chuff* 
posted by Ant |
4:14 PM |
Monday, April 07, 2003 don't panic - there is nothing at all dodgy about this but it is absolutely class: posted by Ant | 7:54 AM | Saturday, April 05, 2003 i've just got back from young james' stag do - it was fantastic - we played so many nasty tricks on him and he loved it! here is a short photo diary of some of the events :D
Friday, April 04, 2003 you'll all be glad to know that ben's fine after his amazing bleach adventure (see below) - apparently bleach-making companies make sure that their products aren't that toxic because they expect them to be drunk by children!!! amazing huh? just got paid a fair amount of outstanding invoices - it's great to see that God's never lets out financial situation slip under (and the reason for that (for you non-believers) is that it's his financial situation, not ours - what a weight off our minds)! a quick hi to my cousin tim, his wife maria and their daughter miranda! glad to see that you guys are checking us out on a regular basis - say hello to sunny spain for us and we'll be seeing you soon hopefully! love ABC (ps. glad you're getting a webcam - the webcam column on the left has always been a bit sparse - it'll be good to link to yours!) posted by Ant | 3:00 PM | Thursday, April 03, 2003 ben the little rascal just pulled the toilet bleach block out of the bowl rim and when we found him his hands were covered with it and it was all over the floor. we've spoken to the nhs they reckon he's just fine because this product is low toxicity and he would have only tasted a little of it. he's just had milk (the best thing in most cases) and i'm going to bath him - i really stink of it too - it's horrible stuff. don't have children - it's mental! ;) posted by Ant | 5:25 PM | Wednesday, April 02, 2003 teen short hand talking - class posted by Ant | 10:09 AM | Tuesday, April 01, 2003 hey everyone - you need to check this file out! it's really cool and is the best animation of a tube train i've EVER seen! make sure you download it by clicking here (you'll need to right click on the link and select 'save target as...' oh and APRIL FOOLS!!! :) posted by Ant | 8:52 AM | |
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