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Saturday, November 30, 2002 
i got it! here's the new home office setup - woohoo! all i need now is a snazzy black keyboard to fit in with the funky style posted by Ant | 6:05 PM | Friday, November 29, 2002  well it's all gone very well and i'll have this fantastic flat screen monitor tomorrow thanks to this cool company i found on the net
posted by Ant |
3:33 PM |
well i've found a monitor at a greater expense but it's better than the sony one. it's also black and sexy! check the hot hitachi out here i've just finished putting together a little play our church group has put together for an arty christmas advent multimedia thingy. you can check it out over the next couple of weeks at st thomas church crookes but for you guys i've put the mp3 up for you to download so right click this link and select save target as... posted by Ant | 12:21 PM | Thursday, November 28, 2002 arghhhh!!!! just got an email from sodding jungle about the fact that they haven't got any monitor to send me (see 2 posts down) - I HATE THEM! so it's gonna cost me loads more. rats. flippin' internet companies suck. posted by Ant | 6:08 PM | okay, i've been meaning to do this for a while... i love it when i get mentioned on other people's blogs to i'm a gonna mention all my bloggin' pals (in alphabetical order) so they can all feel chuffed! there's abigail and andy & bea and jen and matt and neill! have a great day! posted by Ant | 10:53 AM | Wednesday, November 27, 2002 having thought long and hard about which monitor to get for my new pc, i came to the conclusion (thanks to barnaby) that a flat screen lcd monitor would be best because of limited space on the desk at home. having checked out sony's main retail site in the uk, i found this screen for a whopping £797.83! young cliff suggested that i check and see how much jungle are doing it for and it so happened that they were selling one off for only £499 in their bargains area - i'm so happy i could click on this stupid button! posted by Ant | 1:59 PM | Tuesday, November 26, 2002 hey people! i've put an exciting little version of my webcam over there on the left hand side. it doesn't refresh automatically - if you want to do that then click on the antcam link. oh and here's something fun if you fancy starting up a new hobby (and here's another one)! the lengths i go to to keep you guys entertained - maaaan! posted by Ant | 5:00 PM | Monday, November 25, 2002 just to let you know that the pc is actually working thanks to help from tech support - hallelujah! there are still some things that i have to get hold of and send back to get it working properly but for now this is fantastic! posted by Ant | 10:17 AM | mornin' it's 9.30ish and i've been up for over 2 hours but it feels like 20. my cute guys are in bed so while my new pc formats it's hard drive, i'll have a quick blog. tihs weekend has been very very interesting. it nearly killed me but things are better - i'll explain: 2 major things have been a real hassle and the first is the pc i've bought. having got hold of only quality (not budget) components i would have thought it would've worked straight away but i've had trouble and my immediate reaction to things not working is one of utter grief and miserableness so that's been getting me down. the second thing is the fact that i was doing worship at the young adult celebration that happened last night. it was the launch and therefore important, the other important thing was that i was playing the worship songs in emo punk rock style which is a bit of a big thing to be doing as the usual style is acoustic guitar strummed in a jangley way therefore i reckon we were under attack over the weekend - it's been so hard, especially sunday day time. last night did actually go really well. God was there in power and the whole thing seemed to flow nicely. i did the emo thing on the guitar and it felt like a breakthrough for me personally - i was playing one night at an all night of prayer in the roxy in sheffield and remember wanting to jump around madly whilst leading worship but feeling really held back because it would be viewed as 'exhibitionist'. last night i went for it and i felt free to play and act as i'm inspired. another fab thing was that abigail told me that she could worship for the first time for a year - cool :) i'm still working on the computer thing but i feel more positive - if things go wrong again then i'll just leave it with God and find the next possible solution - i know i'll get there so what's the point in getting gutted all the time. i'll let you know what happens! posted by Ant | 9:57 AM | Saturday, November 23, 2002 Right, I'm back. You guys won't know this but I just typed LOADS and then pressed some button and the whole lot just disappeared on me. Obviously it wasn't my fault (obviously!) but even though I'm married to one of the most computer-literate men in the entire world, me and computers just don't mix. So moogins, what's going on then? Well, we've just had the Marshalls round for dinner. They're all about to go to the pub to join Tony for his birthday bash but I am staying home with Ben cos Will isn't old enough to babysit (I think you have to be 16 and Will is only 2, although that is about 10 in cat years. I don't reckon it's 7 years to every human year cos our cat Panya (an AMAZING cat - even Hannah Stoney might have agreed with that one) lived until she was 21 and that would have made her 147 and obviously humans can't live that long although there were guys in the bible who did but not recently so (what was my point again? - ummmm, not sure, might move on. OK, everyone's gone out now so it's just me. This week has been good. Fairly manic but good. I think I use manicness as a coping strategy i.e. cos Ben needs a lot of input, I fly round like a mad thing all day in order to keep him entertained,and although I do quite enjoy it, I don't think it's a particularly healthy long-term strategy. On Friday I met up with a woman called Gail who is a friend of Catherine Plant and who has a 4 week old baby and who doesn't have any friends with babies. We had a really good time and she was easy to chat to, and also affirmed me as a mother cos she was telling me how confident I was and how I knew so much cos I'd already been where she was and could empathise with her and give advice and stuff. It was good to hear and did make me realise how far I'd come. It was good as well cos when I'd spoken to her on the phone earlier in the week, she'd said how easy things were and how the baby was in a routine and slept most of the time and I felt the old pain come back about how difficult Ben had been in the early days and how I'd never had the "baby who sleeps all day"thing, but then I'd had mentoring on the Thursday evening and I'd said this to my mentor (mentor - brilliant invention; if you haven't got one, get one!) and she had said (paraphrase) "Caroline, you know what you have to do, whenever this stuff comes into your head, capture it and take it to the foot of the cross and LEAVE IT THERE", and I thought "oh yes (duh)". So then, when I went to visit Gail, I'd dealt with these feelings and was completely free from them and able to rejoice with her about how easy her baby was and encourage her in her role as a mother rather than feeling jealous and resentful. God is amazing. Today I had Pastoral Care. It's made me think I'd like to do extended prayer ministry but I don't think it's realistic at the mo with having Ben and everything. I think sometimes I can get proud about my pastoral skills (some of you may wonder why!!!), but seriously, it was good to be shown that it's not just about being a good listener and being able to empathise, but that so much of it depends on listening to God rather than depending on my own (God-given) skills. I've decided I need to practise some of what I learned, so don't be surprised if I start repeating back to you what you just told me (it's called "reflecting") cos I'll just be testing out the ideas given to us. Ant's building his computer. Please pray for him cos it's not that easy and he's getting a little frustrated. Please pray for healing for Ben - he has been so much better over the last few days which is fantastic, but I claim complete healing for him. Please pray for me as I'm having opportunities to meet with other mums, that I will be an encouragement and blessing to them and that I will have boldness to talk to them about God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit (as I was writing that I realised that I wrote the trinity in the order that I would find it easiest to talk about with non-Christians, hmmmmm interesting). Right, I'm going now cos it's 10.25pm which is definitely my bed time. Love to you all. Mufwah. posted by Caroline | 10:26 PM | i'm excited because i'm buying a computer that i'll be building - it's gonna be cool coz it's got all the latest fads - that's the advantage of building it yourself (then again, if there's a faulty part, i'm a gonna). some of the exciting things are the sound blaster audigy platinum 2 for all my music projects, 22 inch ilyama monitor (probably but the price has just gone up overnight, so hmmm...), 128mb geforce4 for amazing graphics and last but not least, adsl... finally this'll all mean i can be more flexible with my working time and caroline can have daytime access to the internet and email. woohoo!!! posted by Ant | 8:54 AM | Friday, November 22, 2002 well things feel better - for a start, we all feel better (thanks to all concerned!) i'm just really thankful and there are a couple of reasons: 1) john lovell took me out for a coffee (i had camomile tea - what a ponce!) and helped me figure out my mental and financial states that have both been fairly unstable in recent days - what a guy! 2) abigail, si and i got together last night as lofter. we talked about where we were going and then made up a basic song structure - it's the first thing we've really written together. it was fantastic - the best jam we've had in yonks so watch this space... posted by Ant | 12:40 PM | Wednesday, November 20, 2002 healing okay well there's this thing about healing at the moment (why don't we see more of it etc...) and all that seems to have happened is that we've been regularly ill. it's so annoying! last night, caroline was sick and feverish, ben kept waking up and i had an incredible pain all up my arm (i think it's due to repetitive strain because of all the computer games i've been playing) so we're all in a state today. i thought we'd had it all with appendicitis and nasty colds lasting weeks - gutted. i know i've not got "the right attitude to deal with it" but i really don't care at the moment. posted by Ant | 11:45 AM | Tuesday, November 19, 2002 just wanted to say... "hi mum!" coz she's gonna check out our blog - cool :-) posted by Ant | 11:23 PM | Monday, November 18, 2002 oooooh i love it when someone i haven't heard from for ages emails me! i'm the kinda guy who rings or emails old pals now and then coz i miss 'em. i'm inviting my friend wendy over to stay by telling her how cute ben is (as she's always been a broody lass)! work's a slog - good, but a slog. i'm finding myself ringing clients and working through admin and small fiddly jobs fairly often at the moment. it's difficult to just get on with things but it's happening and i reckon that we'll make it through christmas okay... hoorah! i wish i had something really exciting to talk about but what's keeping me well entertained at the moment is games man - i'm playing lord of the rings, the two towers, gta vice city and harry potter and the chamber of secrets which we're gonna see on wednesday night and i am soooo looking forward to it. working on some punk rock stylee worship music for when i lead on sunday night at the workstation. it's definately going to be interesting - i'm just going to be me so God's gonna have to pull it off. we'll see. posted by Ant | 11:39 PM | Sunday, November 17, 2002 hey people! ben's got a new page up on his web site and you can check it out here posted by Ant | 10:36 AM | Saturday, November 16, 2002 Hellooo chickens, smee again (Caroline that is). It's Saturday night and Ben's in bed (hurrah, rest time!). It's been a bad few nights recently, with Ben waking up at horrible times so I'm feeling a little shattered. Feel free to pray for good nights from now on for us! I've had a good day though. It makes such a difference when Ant's around to share the responsibility for Ben. This morning we went to Bea's bible study time, we looked at Romans 8 and it was fantastic although I was finding it a bit tricky to concentrate as Bea was cutting my hair at the time. I was feeling fed up of having essentially the same haircut since I was 16 (except for one drastic chopping when Ant and I split up, the purpose of which was to assert my individuality and ended up only undermining my femininity) so I just went for it and Bea did a fantastic job. I even went to Boots today and bought some wax (which for anyone who knows me, I don't generally "do" hair at all, so letting me loose with a pot of wax could be interesting....... feel free to tell me if I've done something a bit weird). I've decided to go for a half hour walk with Ben every day. I'm going to do it at the end of the day when things are at their hardest in order to get some fresh air, get some exercise, and generally pass the time. The other day when I was out, it popped into my head that I was a girl and also a woman (not quite sure why) and started thinking about my girlish and womanly qualities, and then I was thinking about what else I was and thought about being a wife and a mother, and then Ant told me I was also a lady and also a sexy vamp (thanks wiggy), and it was amazing thinking about all the different facets of myself and how I am so much. See, fearfully and wonderfully made. Only other thing of import is to remind you all about Ben's dedication on 22nd December. I was chatting with my mum about it and we're going to do nibbles and wine at the back of church. Mum's informed me that unfortunately our old christening gown will be too small for Ben; what a shame. OK, I'm going now. You're all great and I love you; I am seriously surrounded by fantastic people (both in Sheffield and Reading). God bless you all masses with a restful weekend. posted by Caroline | 8:34 PM | Friday, November 15, 2002 calling all babysitters... come in... roger? we're gagging to stare into each others eyes over a resaurant table so let us know if you fancy a cosy night in at the cliffords in front of a cool dvd with dolby digital surround sound ;) we're also looking for a sitter on the 30th coz we've got some pals up and would like to go out. email addresses and phone numbers on the left if this sounds like your kinda deal (who am i kidding?)! posted by Ant | 6:51 PM | Thursday, November 14, 2002 punk rock i've been an indie kid ever since i turned 17 and decided hardcore (you know the score) music wasn't for me. this kinda runs deep in my veins now out of habit but it's not what i'm listening to (much) any more... it's emo punk rock (emo means 'emotional metal' to those who aren't music geeks) everytime i play my new coldplay album all i want to do is put on some rival schools or crackout or something with some energy that doesn't mope around shoe gazing. this, however, doesn't mean that i'm gonna be writing and play stuff exactly like that (as i said, it runs deep in my veins) but i have realised that indie and christian guitar music have a lot in common especially in the guitar strumming style and to be frank (hi, i'm frank!) i've had enough of it. this means that when i lead worship in a couple of weeks, i'll be taking my rat pedals with me - halleuyah! i don't know quite what's happening with me but i had a word the other day about the fact that i adapt a lot but that i need to be myself. this is what i'm gonna do even if i get snotty looks coz i feel inspired to do this stuff and all my christian pals in their mid 20s might not like it much but there's a sea of kids out there and i'm going sailing... i hate it when things get stale but when it's so ingrained in me it's hard to peel myself off the crust of all these old influences that never develop past their own introverted and shallow pride. hot dang! i'll keep you posted posted by Ant | 10:53 PM | just to let you all know... whenever there's a bit of text like this it means it's a link so make sure you check out the site behind it posted by Ant | 10:51 PM | praise God! (by the way, God's the only one who gets a capital letter in my blogs) i've just got a fantastic job and we'll be able to live for the next couple of months so to celebrate here's something a little late in the season posted by Ant | 3:52 PM | Wednesday, November 13, 2002 ahhhhhh... that's better :) uh hu - just played a few songs at a songwriters night thingy in sheffield and it hit the mark (in that performance fix kinda way). they seemed to appreciate the upbeat vibe amongst the blues and wailing which was good. the only thing is that no one comes to hear other people's songs, they come to play their own or support their friend so what you're left with is a bunch of geezers (yes, only blokes played - i'm glad rach sang on one of my songs (she was great)) who are all craving attention but not getting any. the regulars seem happy with their 10 minutes of fame a week tho. it was more fun being with a few pals and then heading off into the town centre to see the christmas lights (with their politically correct muslim festival banner) and the monstrous tree with it's police car style blue flashing lights... joy! posted by Ant | 11:17 PM | Hi guys, Cazza here writing my first bloggin. Well, actually we're about to go and eat (Ant's made a fantasmagolical curry - it's got banana in, although I was speaking to someone the other day who thought the idea of banana curry was DISGUSTING, (I think it was Bea) (is it OK to put brackets within brackets cos I quite like brackets and other exciting bits of punctuation, especially exclamation points (!), in fact I think they're my favourite, although semi-colons are quite good except I'm never quite sure when I should be using them; anyway, what was I writing about all the way back there ...... - oh yes, the yummy curry; well, we're going to eat but Ant has just put on Lord of the Rings cos he got the special edition dvd today, extremely special bookends (betcha all looking forward to coming round to see them on our mantelpiece!). Right, so I'm going to go now but I may be back later - no promises however as I plan to have a long leisurely bath. see ya later poo bums x posted by Caroline | 7:05 PM | well all's goin' real well coz of a little help from me ol' pal neill. we've been tweaking and altering and changing templates and bits and bobs to get the perfect template for this site and here it is... enjoy and we'll catch up later :) posted by Ant | 5:09 PM | Tuesday, November 12, 2002 and just when i thought that moving to norfolk park in sheffield was the trend, along comes the blog, a rather infectious little habit that requires the urge to share selective ponderings and a small amount of discipline. i'd love to go against the flow but this little nugget of a concept seems kinda cool - best watch my language coz i might even tell me mom and dad. well i best dedicate this first post to my wonderful best pal caroline and my new found friend ben - i'm hoping we'll hear a little from them in the near future but until then i expect i'll be prattling on about this and that on occasion. laters posted by Ant | 10:37 PM | |
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